Murder mysteries. Missing persons. Unsolved Cases. There is something that pulls us into these stories–the twists, turns, and plot changes. Finding out the truth can be shocking. No one really knows what goes on behind closed doors—especially when it comes to relationships with emotional abuse and manipulation. If you are involved in a toxic-relationship, it can feel as if you are the only one who knows what is really going on. What is portrayed to others of one’s daily “real-life” experiences are not always what they appear when only observed from the outside. Those following Gabby-Petito’s social media posts of her adventures with Brian-Laundrie see her smiling as thought everything is great. Those who have lived through abusive relationships can relate to the “darker side” when your relationship is an “emotional roller coaster”. Patterns of abuse can start off as slowly, especially in a new relationship. Over time, the abuser uses various tactics to maintain power and control within the relationship and over the other person. Emotional and psychological abuse is just one type of abuse. Tactics might include being possessive/ jealous, keeping tabs on your whereabouts and “monitoring you”, accusing you of cheating, and blaming you for their responses. You may begin to question your own self-worth. You may even question your own reality of accounts when gaslighting is being used. The abuser may further attempt to control by isolating you from loved ones, using threats, and misleading you about your options in relationship. The cycle-of-abuse and power-and-control wheel are two models that can be helpful with understanding dynamics and patterns that are present within abusive relationships; however, abuse does not always follow predictable patterns. In the cycle of abuse, tension builds. You may begin to feel anxious and afraid, as if you are “walking on eggshells” within your relationship, leading up to an “incident”. This may be a physical or verbal altercation in which the abuser using tactics to regain power and control. The third stage is reconciliation, which leads to the calm “honeymoon” stage. The abuser may accuse the victim of provoking them or justify their behavior; the victim may end of taking responsibility through blaming their self. Power and control are central themes in the wheel model; these are viewed as the subtle and continually elements. Using coercion, threats, intimidation, emotional abuse, isolation, economic abuse, children, male privilege and minimizing, denying & blaming are behaviors within the wheel that are reinforced by the outer rings of physical and sexual violence. Gabby Petito’s friends described her relationship as “toxic at times”. Friends say they “always had some drama”…“very low lows and very high highs” but… “always seemed to love each other”. Those who crossed paths with the couple also saw warning signs—those who witnessed “a commotion” and saw a “domestic dispute” may have never imagined how the narrative would unfold. Sadly, Gabby was never able to finish sharing her adventures and unfortunately, subtle “red flags” in an unhealthy relationship can quickly escalate to deadly results. If you or a loved one are currently involved in a toxic relationship, please reach out before it is too late.
DayOne Crisis Hotline 866.223.1111 Minnesota’s statewide hotline for people experiencing violence, 24/7/365 The National Domestic Violence Hotline 800.799.7233 or 800.787.3224 (TTY) Esperanza United 651.772.1611 Bilingual (español) Domestic Violence Helpline National Deaf Domestic Violence Hotline Videophone: 855.812.1001 ThinkSelf – Deaf Advocacy Services Videophone: 651.829.9089 Text Hotline: 621.399.9995 OutFront Minnesota 800.800.0350 LGBTQ+ Anti-Violence Crisis Line LoveIsRespect.org 1.866.331.9474 Teen Dating Violence Hotline StrongHearts Native Helpline 844.762.8483 Native American Domestic Violence Helpline To schedule an appointment with one of our professional counselors, click here. Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC We’re Here to helpOur wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898. Meet CliniciansWe’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day. The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You. from https://care-clinics.com/gabby-petito/
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